Cookie Monsters

We celebrated the day before the day before Christmas with a cookie decorating party. The kids had a great time and very few disasters. I am still crunching silver balls into the floorboards though. They were going at it pretty strong at the beginning decorating two at a time. By the end, only Will was left shaking sprinkles on his cookies like there was no tomorrow.

Now if only there was a place to hide them so I don't eat them all myself.

She's Just a Bitter, Bitter Woman

Okay, Walgreens.com you were good to me last year and this year in the recent past. Now, however, in the present....not so good.

Of course it was our shortsightedness. We should have done a better job of guess-ti-mating how many holiday cards we would need. But you don't know my kind-hearted husband. For example,

Me: Do you want to send a card to Joe Schmo who we haven't talked to since 2007?
Him: Yes.
Me: Really?
Him: Yes.

Therefore we ran out before our time spent filling out envelopes was complete. I think, "No worries. I will hop on line and order one more box." Only to find that the style is no longer available. Yes, it's true. They made a Christmas card that WAS available 2 weeks before Christmas NO LONGER available 1 week before Christmas. "Really?" I ask the .com representative known as Dorothy, "Does that make any sense to you?" I followed up with a firm, yet friendly, "Please let your manager know that this does not make me want to order from you in the future."

End result....two styles from us this year. No rhyme or reason as to who gets what.

Thanks for nothing Dotty.

Diagnosis....PHP

Pre Holiday Panic settling in.

No cookies baked.

No homemade crafts made.

No gifts wrapped.

No mistletoe hanging.

No presents under tree.

Yikes.

All I want to do is read my book and sip hot tea.

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

Spent the whole weekend Christmas-ing it up. Friday night was open house in our town. We wandered the streets warmed with burn barrels blazing land listened to street muscians playing Carols. We opted out of the horse and carriage ride so that we could attend Tuba Christmas at the University which was very festive. On Saturday a group of us gathered complete with hot chocolate, popcorn and cookies to watch the annual Christmas parade. Some years it has been so cold we have bundled up in snowpants and boots and STILL froze to death. This year it was gorgeous. Sunny and relatively warm.

Ethan was excited to walk in the parade this year with the cub scouts.
Sunday afternoon we hiked the hills of a local farm to find the "perfect tree." I ran out of steam about half way up the hill because (note photo) Will decided he wanted only Mommy to "hold me". I heard the cries of "Timber" from the other three men in my life and we sipped hot chocolate as we waited for them to bring our tree down to us.

We tied the tree top of the Subaru, drove home and decorated it while listening to Christmas music (K's favorite) and drank hot chocolate again! Ta da!

These are the activities that make living in a small town so much fun....Hot chocolate, smiling faces and Christmas cheer.

Confessions

of a Recipe Junky

Hello. My name is S. and I am addicted to recipes. I find myself constantly looking at cookbooks, supplements to the Sunday paper with recipes, web pages online blinking "FREE RECIPES", and magazine covers declaring NEW and IMPROVED one pot dishes. The pictures are so pretty. The foods look so appetizing and beautiful.

After one has caught my eye, either with its catchy name or mouthwatering photograph, I can't help it. I read the directions and if I deem it worthy I painstakingly clip it and stick it on the spice cupboard bottom shelf. This area could also be known as the Shelf Where New Recipes Go to Die or the Place From Which New Recipes Never Return.

It's true my friend. I don't seem to have it in me to take the next step. And it IS a very logical step...to actually MAKE AND TRY the new recipe. I can't seem to get my act together in that way.

Perhaps it is the time of day I sit to make my grocery list because I seem to be throwing it all together in a hurry....What do we need? [quit arguing] What do I make for supper this week? [don't talk to your brother that way] Do we have the stuff we need for lunches? [Can you share it? ] What is on sale? [I'll play Sorry in a minute.] Do I have coupons that I can find and use? [I don't know where the lego alien guy is AND no, I can't look for it right now. ]

Apparently my creative brain shuts off and I think, "New Recipes?? Nah, I'll just stick with the same old, same old."

But I do so enjoy the first step and I must admit I don't intend to give it up. Perhaps an intervention is in order. Until then, please look the other way when entering the spice cupboard - clipped recipes may become airborne at any given moment.

T-giving Feast of K-gdn

I am exhausted. I spent the day in Ben's kindergarten room helping the kids mix pumpkin mousse, two batches of corn muffins and make butter in preparation for their thanksgiving feast this afternoon. Whew. I may never be gainfully employed again. It's exhausting to be up, dressed and out the door by 7:30 and then be relatively chipper and productive throughout the day. Not sure I ever remember a time when I could do it.

The kids had such fun as the neighboring classroom of Native Americans paraded over to our Pilgrim classroom and placed their food on our "table" (construction paper laid across the room) decorated with gourds. The Native Americans and Pilgrims feasted on turkey (jerky sticks), carrots, celery, apples, popcorn, pumpkin mousse, corn muffins with butter and pumpkin muffins. It was really special to be a part of it.

I am so thankful Ben has such an outstanding teacher this year. She is funny, kind, loving and really enjoys teaching the kids. They sang their hearts out to all the sight word songs. "I can spell and. A-N-D and. And is the word that I write with my hand. A-N-D A-N-D nikki nikki noo. That's what I learned in my school. Mama."

The headache that came on at ten this morning is still hanging on. Barometric pressure headache? Not sure but would be happy to have it go away.

Well Dinosaur Train is over and it is bedtime. Over and Out.

Parental Plummet

Tonight I am praying for transformation
Into the parent I want to be
Someone who always knows the right thing to say
Someone who stays calm in the most hectic of moments
Someone who whispers her displeasure with a quiet voice
As she envelopes her child in warmth and safety.

Does she exist? Not here at the moment.

Raised voices.
Irritation.
Frustration.

I wish to crawl under a parenting rock and stick my parenting head in the sand.

"Sometimes it feels like you don't even like me." he says.
"Sometimes I don't like you. But I can be mad at you and still love you." I reply.

My friend insist this blog thing is therapeutic. Bring it on. Mama needs some therapy. FAST.

Open Letter to the Frozen Food Deliverer

Dear Schwans Man-
There is nothing in your truck that I would need enough to open the door in my pajamas at 9:16 pm on a Wednesday night.

Life is Chock Full of Activities

We spent the last few days jaunting from one activity to the next. First the Veteran's Day Parade with Cub Scouts. Kevin pulled Will and Ben in the wagon, Ethan walked with the pack and I ran along the path and cheered. "Wooo Wooo!!"

One night we ventured to a local church that was having a mini golf fundraiser. Homemade holes can be pretty fun even if they have a religious undertone. One hole had two different paths marked "God's Way" and "Your Way". If you hit your ball your way, it would always loop around and return the tee off point where you had to start again. Finally after a number of tries Ben exclaimed, "Oh I get it. You HAVE to go God's Way." Pretty tricky Church of the Nazarene. Below is a picture of me at the hole that is apparently about a story in the bible where Elisha meets a bear. I don't know this story, but it proved to be a memorable putt putt hole.

Saturday morning we donned our skates for a cub scout skating party. My memories of skating involve large combs in your back pocket with sayings like "Awesome" and "Cool" that the boys would pull out of your pocket and skate away with them. Good times I tell you. We took Will namely because we didn't have any one to watch him. I just figured I would play with him while everyone else skated. It turned out they had skates small enough to fit him and he was a skating fool! Here he is doing the limbo.

Today a friend texted that he was going to fly kites after school and asked us to join them. We replied "Awesome." It was so blustery that all six kids had kites in the air for the longest time. It was so much fun!

What's next? I am sure something exciting will come down the pike.

Part II

Laundry is back....

with a vengeance.

Kickin' Some LB Butt

After nearly a week of numerous and random laundry baskets piled and stacked around the house in various stages....clean and unfolded......folded and sorted.....folded and unsorted.....dirty.....we have a very important announcement to make.

We did not let the baskets get the best of us! We have come and we have conquered! They have been washed, dried, folded, sorted and wait for it- all put away! Take that you!

It's a big day in our house. No one will be dirtying laundry. We may get some looks on the street, but we don't care. It's the principle of the matter. Surely we can have ONE day or at least ONE hour of being ahead of the laundry curve.

Seriously. Is it really too much to ask for??

What Could Have Been

It almost seems too perfect, with all the typical evil, meddling mother-in-law jokes that go around, that my mother-in-law's birthday is on Halloween. Imagine the jokes and mileage I could get out of that one..."You think your mother-in-law is bad? Mine was BORN on Halloween."

Fortunately for me my mother-in-law does not fit the description of meddling or evil. To use a word she is lovely. She has played hundreds of games of Uno, Sorry, Trouble, or the current game of choice with the boys willingly and it almost seems as if she is enjoying it. She has read every book in our house at least once, if not twice. She never fails to send holiday cards to each boy and always helps out with school fundraisers. (Thankfully because Mom and Dad are really bad salespeople.)

On this, her birthday, we shall dine on Pumpkin Pie in her honor, read excerpts from "I Heard the Owl Call My Name" and snack on popcorn and peppermint patties. We love you Grandma! Happy Birthday to you!!

Definitely TREATS!

A cold and rainy trick or treat night sent us to the local university's dormitories for Trick or Treat rather that braving our street in the bad weather. Ethan declared it a "Maze of Treats." Here they are in all their glory..... Waldo

Pirate

Red Monster making "GRRRR" noise.

A few days earlier Will and buddy Bea trick or treated on K's campus along with Joe Pa. You never know who you will meet when you are out!

Ethan and Ben couldn't wait to get home and sort their candy. Then I had to take a record of the results. Tootsie Rolls 23, Whoppers 19, Popcorn 3, 3 Musketeers 11, Milk Duds 12, Pretzels 2, Twizzlers 14, Skittles 7, Smarties 23, Reese's PB Cups 8, Kit Kat 11, Snickers 2, Tootsie Pop 14, Pencils 5. Then Mommy got tired.....Misc. 35. Not a stellar year for the M & M....not a one in the mix. Is that possible??? Per Ben's request, please note the milk dud tower in the middle.

Happy Hallllooooooweeeeeen. My peeps

Nightly Routines

I am, like most people, a creature of habit. I thought of this the other night as I was putting the boys to bed. Kevin was at his late class so I had Will on my lap upstairs in Ethan and Ben's bedroom and after we had read a few books I started my set of bedtime songs.

I start off with "You are my Sunshine." which reminds me of my Grandpa Varner who told me stories of singing this song on hayrides with friends. Next I lead into "Godspeed" by the Dixie Chicks. I love a lot of music but have never been a country fan. However, I do enjoy the Dixies and this song is a good one for bed time and if you have boys.

Next I bring down the house with James Taylor's "You Can Close Your Eyes." Always a favorite of mine and a crowd pleaser. Then I jump into camp songs, "I am my own Grandpa" "Johnny Rebeck" perhaps throw in a little "Wild 'bout Horns" or "I Pity the Poor Little Froggy".

The other night I started to get a bit bored. Really? Am I stuck in a moment and can't get out of it? (Nice U2 reference, thanks.) So I pulled out a little "Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas but thought the lead air guitar might not have the calming effect I was desiring so I worked my way into "Closer to Fine" and "Galileo" by the Indigo Girls. I tried to work in a little Foreigner but "Feels like the First Time" seemed a little PG 13. Also, I have been trying to think of how to sing a radio edit version of my current obsession, Mumford and Sons but haven't worked that out yet. On a sidebar though somehow swearing with a British accent doesn't seem as offensive.

I suppose I will revert back to the old standards this Wednesday night because I realized I have difficulty remembering some of the words without the radio blaring and the instrumental accompaniment.

I just remembered I need to google the words to "House at Pooh Corner" by Kenny Loggins to increase my Pooh song repertoire for Will. He is into special requests.

I am not considering signing up for the reality singing show. Just looking for a little variety in my nightly routine. That's it.

I know. I hear you. Don't quit your day job.

Lottery Windfall

My brain starts to wander. What would I do with millions of dollars?

Of course, first and foremost I would give a substantial amount to anyone who has ever read and/or laughed out loud at my blog. Thank you. You will be rewarded for your impeccable taste or rather for the extra time you seem to have to do mundane tasks on the computer.

Next, I'd throw some to family and friends. Now is the time to suck up people. You never know...

Then, I'd buy my husband a new car with awesome gas mileage and a superb stereo system.

Mainly I would like to just throw it around the town creating bike trails, playgrounds, green spaces, etc. Wouldn't it be nice?? It's fun to dream.

You Should Have Seen the One that Got Away

Apparently we are fisher people.

We spent four hours last saturday fishing with the boy scouts at a private pond. Everyone loved it. Only Kevin caught a fish, to the dissappointment of some. I was proud to have casted out into the pond after several attempts landing on the bank beside me.

Fischer Fritz fischt frische Fische.

Throw back to my German major days, it's a tongue twister about fishing that I have tucked away in my memory banks for those moments when there is a lull in the conversation. Try it. It always seems to impress the little ones.

Apparently we will be purchasing our own equipment and we will be fishing again.

Fish beware.

FYI People

Yeah. I woke up in the night thinking...."Peter Piper didn't pick pumpkins! He picked a peck of pickled peppers."

Apparently my reference should have been Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. But it doesn't seem to work as well and I feel some camaraderie with his wife. Life FEELS like I'm living in a Pumpkin shell at times.

Please update my previous blog with the following: [insert own nursery rhyme reference referring to pumpkins here] has nothing on us.

Take that Peter.

Farm Living

We pumpkin patched it up this past weekend. We opted for the one acre corn maze as opposed to the five acres. Once Ben, Will and I spent hours meandering around a corn maze. Nightmares!!

We picked pumpkins and Indian Corn and slid down the burlap sack slides. Good times for sure! It is this time of year that I start craving Pumpkin....bread, cookies, gobs, pancakes.

The boys were very excited to buy some gourds...one that looks like a three foot long snake and Kevin couldn't pass up a cool pumpkin. Peter Piper has nothing on us.

I Stand....Corrected.

My mathematician of a husband has finally entered my subconscious. While making the aforementioned cornbread, it was his voice inside my head telling me to "DOUBLE IT. DOUBLE IT."

Apparently I was to consider volume of the pan and in actuality a 12 inch pan is almost double an 8 inch pan. I forget why. Something to do with radius and pi and infinite numbers and blah and blah and blah.

Who knew?

My husband did.

Ponderings...If the Brain is Up For It.

There have been a few moments lately where I have become acutely aware that I am slowly but surely losing most if not all of my mental capacities.

1. Standing at the gas station pondering, "Why won't this nozzle go into the tank?" Shoving, grunting, shoving for say 5 minutes. Finally reading giant DIESEL sign on the gas dispenser. Oops. Very smart people to have made the nozzles different sizes. Very smart indeed.

2. Making cornbread at supper. Recipe calls for an 8 inch iron skillet. I have a 12 inch iron skillet. Decide I need to do a recipe and a half. Easy you say? I think I alternated every other ingredient accidentally doubling instead of one and a halving and then finally realizing it and unscooping the scooped baking powder, salt, etc. However, the bread still turned out divine so there!

3. I am sure there are many other moments to share. I will limit them right now so that my insanity remains under wraps, a least a little bit.

Road Trip!

Well after 4 years of not being away from the kids, my husband suggested I go on a road trip. So two friends and I are heading off to New York City to see the sights.

We have gone up and down the emotional roller coaster of "Maybe we shouldn't go?" "Three nights is a long time." "I have so much to do at home."

The time has come and we ARE GOING.

I am sure it will be fun once we work through the anxieties.

Later on dudes.

Open Challenge

I feel the need to publicly challenge all professional chefs and cooks out there to prepare the meals they prepare with a 27 pound 2 1/2 year old on their hip ("Mommy I want you hold me.") and while negotiating World War II between the older siblings. ("I am just so mad at him." "He hit me on the head with the umbrella." etc. etc.)

Wouldn't it be nice to have a personal sous chef to chop and prepare the food? I would even let them do the serious cooking every now and again.

I mean, really, how am I to have my husband's slippers and cigar ready for him when he comes home from work?

To me, this is one of life's great mysteries.

A "Leisurely" Evening Stroll

I had been at home most of the day with the two younger boys and their colds. We had been taking it pretty easy. We snacked. We played "Sorry". We watched video. After dinner I thought maybe Ben should get out of his pajamas and we should go somewhere and do something. Why not get ice cream and then go for a hike??

Great plan. We drove out to the ridge where my father's parents lived. I knew there would be a beautiful view and if it had been mowed we could easily hike to the top. Lucky break because the grass had not only been mowed but had been raked into lovely rows soaking up the September sun and awaiting the baler. We happily hike. The view is great even though a bit obscured by the overly mature trees around the edges of the field. I even smiled as Ethan and Ben bowled Osage orange balls down the hill remembering doing the same thing as a kid.

Things were going so well and we saw the farm house over the tall grass. "Can we go to the house?" "Sure."

We venture around the barn, teeter across the telephone pole on the ground, look both ways even though it is sparsely travelled, cross the dirt road and head to the big house. We admired the grounds and headed around back to the grape arbor. Ethan tried to swing on the hammock (a big no no if Grandma was looking out the window) fell off and declared "I think I broke a bone." He didn't. After what came next he quickly forgot the pain from that ordeal.

Next scene Will poking a stick in the ground. Chaos as Ethan starts screaming that something is biting him. Will starts screaming. I can't see anything. Kevin yells, "BEES". We all start running across the yard. They are hanging on. Ethan still screaming. Stripping off his shirt. They are still hanging on our clothes and trying to sting us. "RUN." We head up the road. Ethan still screaming. Will crying. Ben running. We make it halfway up the road as we try to get back to the van. Bees are still on my pants and jacket and Kevin's shirt. We start stripping off our clothes. Kevin rips Ethan's sock off because there is one still biting him. "KEEP RUNNING."

"Take the baby." I yell because I am out of shape and I was slowing down. Will was distraught because we left his satin Cleveland Indians jacket laying in the road. My soccer boys, Ethan and Ben are in pretty good shape and ran the entire half mile to the van. Ethan was running on gravel with one shoe off.

We finally made it and applied medicine to Will's bite on his right cheek and to all FIVE of Ethan's bites. Everyone calmed down and we buckled Ethan in his car seat in his underwear because of the two bites on his back.

I can only imagine what the white truck that passed me thought as I was retrieving the clothes we littered up the hill.

Everyone is fine and sleeping soundly perhaps due in part to a dose of benadryl.

"We're supposed to get ice cream after we get stung but we already got some tonight." says Ben.

Crazy crazy night. All for a stroll down memory lane and some fresh air.

"I wish we were made of wires and when bees try to sting us we sting them back." says Ben.

Shh it's a Secret

Sometimes
My
Kids
Really
Really
Really
Drive
Me
Crazy.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go In the Water

Yesterday I thought I was sailing smoothly. As the saying goes, "I was cooking with gas." The morning flew by with a trip to Trax Farms with my Mom. Will had a great time chatting his heart out in the car and looking at all the pumpkins and "ho ho's" (Santas) in the store. I returned home, switched the laundry, put Will to nap, returned to the kitchen to turn on the tea kettle and then tidied up a bit. I then thought to myself, "Oh I will get dinner together so that after school time can go more smoothly." I had put chicken in the crock pot before we left and it was done and ready to be turned into Chicken Tetrazzini.

See what I am saying? I was on fire. Things were just getting accomplished right and left. Rarely do I feel this productive.

I should have heard it. That subtle...da dun...da dun...da dun da dun da dun...I should have seen the dorsal fin protruding from the water......I should have run for my life.

Instead I lifted the ceramic insert from the crock pot to let it cool. .....da dun.... I set it down on to the stove top. ....da dun.... as I simultaneously set my arm down on the spout of the tea pot that was boiling on the stove.

AHHHHHHHHHH Could you hear the screams??

The result is a very large, circular mark on my right arm.

My friend Sara exclaims, "Sal, is that a birthmark on your arm? I've never noticed it before."

Note to self: Give up any notions that you need to have your act together. It only brings you harm.

Petting Zoo

Despite the excrement that inevitably gets stepped on and

despite the Germ X squirts that don't really feel like they clean off the "animal" and

despite the fact that my two year old didn't know whether to squeal with delight or shriek for his life when he was surrounded by goats,

oh how they LOVE LOVE LOVE a good petting zoo.

First Day of School

And all that good stuff.
Things are pretty quiet around the house now as Ethan and Ben have started school. Ethan is in Second and Ben is starting Kindergarten. Here is a glimpse of their return after first day.

And now the routines begin....home, snack, homework, snack, dinner, snack, bath, snack, bed......mixed in with a little soccer sprinkled here and there.

Ethan performed the "Second Grade is Awesome" dance for us. Ben told us about snack time and how they shake their booty to the months of the year song sung to the Macarena.

Here's to a good school year!

Open Letter to All Hymenopterous Insects

Dear any Ants within general vicinity of my home:

As touched as I am by the notion that you seek my home as a quiet, peaceful refuge in your lives when it is rare that I feel any peace or quiet, you, my friends, are on my last nerve and I must insist on giving you walking papers.

Shall I translate? You are no longer welcome in my home. If you continue to enter against my wishes, I may be forced to retaliate.

Cease and desist. I beg of you. Cease and desist.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled Landlord

Recent Events and Unevents

Not much happening around these parts lately.

Kevin is experiencing the back to school crunch.

Ben and Ethan both met their teachers at orientation.

The earth shook a little bit and we didn't even notice as the East Coast tremor passed through Greene County.

Will has a cold. Bummer. Hopefully it won't settle in his ears. Please! Please!

I have been sucked in the throws of a Cub Scout leadership position and after two meetings in two weeks am questioning my sanity level at the time I uttered, "Okay I guess." Somehow found myself telling the group that sometimes at the Pack Meetings of the Cub Scouts I want to poke my eyes out from boredom. Oops. Sometimes things just spew out of my mouth.

Soccer practice. Soccer camp. Soccer practice. Soccer shin guards STILL too hard to get on. I must sit down and invent a better method to put shin guards on your child.

Just filling the days with activity and trying to keep the squabbles to a minimum.

They Found Her....

days later still trying to post pictures on her blog.

Clicked with the cell phone, e-mailed to myself, opened and saved incorrectly as e-mail, sent to Junk e-mail, opened and saved FINALLY as J-Peg. So are the days of the lives of these pictures snapped at one of our favorite places in Columbus, Ohio.

It is a lovely garden complete with children's area, water tower, tree house, hiking paths, herb garden, waterfalls....I mean the list goes on and on.




If I win the lottery or somehow fall into a boat load of money, my plans include buying some land and developing an area such as this for my town. Other ideas also include numerous playgrounds, bike trail and many many acres of public recreation areas.

Oh yeah, and maybe I'll buy some really expensive groovy shoes and chocolate.