Therapy 101

Sometimes I feel totally unequipped to deal with the ugly parts of life....conflict, sadness, anger.  I wonder how to repair the missing steps on the ladder of my emotional development.

Understanding emotions is what you learn as a child, unless your Mom doesn't show much emotion.  I can count on one hand how many times I have seen my Mom cry or really angry.  She pushed it way, way down because that is what she learned from her parents.  If you don't talk about it then it will go away.  Only it doesn't.  So I have been struggling to figure it out on my own as an adult.

You aren't a good girl if you don't accept what others say with a smile.  You are seen as "crazy" and "irrational" and the "one who is itchin' for a fight."  Unfortunately no one will say any of that to you face because we were never taught how to face it head on, no emotion and in a calm manner.  We were only taught to keep it in and push it down until one day we blow up and bring up things from 20 years ago.  Things that were never discussed. This fosters resentment and hard feelings that quite possibly will never get resolved.

I try to teach my sons how to express what they are feeling but it is challenging. especially because sometimes we aren't sure what we are feeling.  Why are we really mad at the situation? 

I feel like typically I am a relatively calm and forgiving person, and yet I am unable to maintain this with my siblings.  Is it the history?  Is it because we are such a large family that it is hard to find a place to fit in?  I don't know.  It's both sad, angry and frustrating. 

Therapy session ended. 

Vacation 2014 a/k/a 1,800 miles added to the van



Our vacation began with an overnight visit with cousin extraordinaire, Garrett, in State College, PA.  Holy Smokes, it is beautiful around that area!  I would not have traded my College of Wooster experience, but I must admit I was envisioning what life might have been like had I attended Penn State University.  It was fun to walk around, eat creamery ice cream and try to picture my Dad stomping on the same spots.  Thanks Garrett!

Will is holding the kid sized cone.  Exactly how big are the kids in central PA?

 

Next we traveled across PA to visit good pals in New Jersey.  Will loved every minute he played with best pal, Ethan.  This is also home of the M & M company, so we HAD to snap a shot.



From there we drove back to visit two of my brothers and their families in Newtown, PA.  We visited a local county park called ringing rocks where the kids could pound on the rocks to make a ringing sound like a bell.  Pretty cool! Scientist, Kevin Maxwell, has the particular scientific reason for their ringing.  My observation, "Those sure do sound purdy."

On to the nation's capital, also known as one of the hottest place I have ever been.  Of course this was due in part to walking all over God's half-acre with a 40 pound 5 year old on my back.  Guess who has two thumbs and forgot the stroller?  The boys especially loved riding the metro and seeing "real spaceships" at the Air and Space Museum.

This is a picture of our fingers after we touched a moon rock.  These fingers, my friends, have been pow! straight to the moon!

Onward ho, through the brutal creeping traffic of I-95 to Raleigh, NC to visit family for their annual 4th of July party.  Nothing sweeter than cousins!


We traveled next to the outer banks to see the Wright Brothers' exhibit in Kitty Hawk and experienced the most beautiful day I have ever seen.  It was sunny and in the low 80's at the beach!  We were thrilled that Arthur had hit land earlier and provided us with such great weather.
 
At Jockey's Ridge State Park the boys enjoyed climbing, running and jumping over the sand dunes that seemed to go on forever.  "I feel like I am in the desert," said Ethan.

We stayed in Corolla, a northern tip of the OBX.  Of course a trip to the beach wouldn't be complete without a trek up the steps of a light house.  This year Will wanted to go and made it up every one of the 300 steps.  Whew!



"Are we beach people?" Kevin asked.  My reply, "I don't know.  I think we could be."